A book that means a lot to me - The Lie that Binds by Amy Argent

 I was lucky to get to read this as an advance reader.  As a family member, and I won't spoil it for you, it meant the world to me to see how all this played out.  You can read my GoodReads review here: 

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I could not stop reading this book. High school can be daunting, all by itself. You never truly know what is going on in another's life. For Holly Ross, life presented challenges that resulted in a cross country and cross climate relocation. For Nathan, Holly may present as another obstacle to be navigated, or will his truth be the one that binds them all. This is an exploration of all that motivates the young as they navigate the waters to reach adulthood, along with a smattering of education. It shines a light on the invisible burdens that are not so easily recognized by the world at large. Not all handicaps are visible, and the ones we place on our own hearts may do the most damage. I loved the collection of quotes that opened each chapter. I think this book could start a hundred important conversations. I plan to share it.

You can find this on Amazon, for both Kindle and print, along with other retailers

Kids! What's the Matter with Kids ... Today?

Somewhere, in the not too distant past, parents tried to work themselves out of a job.  We made sure our tiny charges were well protected in the beginning, but bit by bit, we pulled back.  Sure, we enforced rules but sometimes you have to fall to learn the floor is really cold and hard.  It's so much better to fall when you are shorter.  It's less of a fall and easier to get up and get on with life.

Life today has removed some of the opportunities to simply TRY!

Now we have helicopter parents and trophies for showing up.  We constantly tell each child how perfect and wonderful they are ... no matter what they have done; and perhaps worse, no matter what they haven't done.

Covid 19 has now given our children the mandate, in many cases, to practically LIVE in front of their computer screen, and woe to those who don't have one, or enough bandwidth or privacy for their school day.

I am fortunate that my two main charges, and my dozen international children are all up and about in the world, productive citizens of their current locales, building good, adult lives.  

And that is what brings me here today.   Our children, our grandchildren and nieces and nephews, and other children are watching us.  They are searching for clues as to what comes next.  If we are uncertain, and I would guess that most of us certainly are uncertain, what we show them in the coming days is certainly important.

I had the opportunity to spend extra time with a grandchild this spring.   It was a lemonade out of the lemons' situation.  This child was coming from a place where civility was gone.   It dawned on me that now was the time to not only let a child be a child but model what should be happening against the backdrop of what no one wanted to watch happen.  

Every night, the news showed how lost so much of the country seemed to be.  In our home, we lived to show how it could be.  We still found innovative ways to be safe but still have fun.  We got our work done, we laughed, we discussed, we lived in harmony, even though all of us did not share all the same beliefs or political positions.  

As a child, I had lived through the Sixties. There were riots and violence and the war on our TV more nights than I can remember.  My parents, even though their own difficulties, managed to remain mostly calm for my tiny brother and me.  They modeled mostly calm, rational behavior.  They did not rant or rail on situations, at least not in front of us.  They let us be children.  We didn't have all the 24-7 news or the constant critique of social media.  Our photos were for our families and friends.  Our mistakes were our own, not plastered and repeated over and over on the internet.  We had a chance to try and fail and learn without everlasting condemnation.  In short, we were children, being children, and learning at a steady pace.

What's the matter with kids today?  Maybe if we let them be kids, and have childhoods where they gained responsibility and skills at a child's pace, and not the pace demanded by the internet; the answer could again be - not much.

Musings on a sunny December day

Greetings from fa  Lala land    It's been a while since I've written and it feels good to pick up the pen or the pixel once again.  I travel back-and-forth across the US went back to work and now find myself living in literally the happy.   My neighborhood here in sunny Los Angeles is literally called the happy .  It doesn't have an English name however it's a Spanish name Los Feliz.   Life has certainly had its ups and downs one of the great things about living here in California is getting to meet so many interesting people .  People and authors I've known on the web, are now names and faces.   LA is the land of the déjà vu face .   I just get used to the fact that yeah I know you from somewhere and I'm not gonna bother trying to figure that out .  They earn their privacy as much as  we crave ours.  So the events here in California have had me thinking I just wanted to wish everyone peace of the season.  Anyone who believes that their beliefs are so all encompassing that they must stamp out and trampled all this agreement needs to take a deep breath .  If you are here in the United States you must understand we are a nation of many and out of the many we become one nation that does not mean we have one way of thinking or one way of acting.   We are united in our belief that everyone here every citizen has the right to think and believe as their heart chooses.  And just as much as they may share their choice.  It is every since citizens right to decline to share that choice as well. That's what makes me glad to be an American and that's why I put on the uniform to protect that right so many years ago

England Vs Wales: What a Game!

Post Noel and Boxing Day musings

Merry Christmas. In some places the 26th is Boxing Day. Here I'm calling it TG no more Carpenters on the radio day. I cannot fathom playing the same songs to the point beyond saturation but for me if I never hear them again I will be fine with that. Too much of any one thing breeds contempt. This year there were the almost sadly traditional scenes of Zealous shoppers getting into trouble over the it item for the year. As if that were the point. This year our family was far away and only vis the genius of Steve Jobs were we able to see and hear some of the morning excitement. When technology brings us close and eases the sting that the miles bring on a holiday you can believe its all a part of Gods plan. I don't think he was too excited by the pepper spray in line for the gadgets but we are all fallen short of the glory of God here. Will any of the excitement and joy of the day, the peace of a sleeping and waiting house or the love and warmth given via the scents of food prepared with love hold much into the new year? I can only send that hope to everyone else. If only a flicker of it sits inside each heart there will be a little more light in the cool hard start of another year. God Bless us, every one, no exceptions.

Is there no understanding in the space we call the web, that for some of us, there is a business space and there is a friend and family space?  I am not saying if you post something you wouldn't put on an interstate billboard, you should be conceded, but silly family and friend photographs belong on a Facebook page, as much as they belong in my family room.  So, I am posting on Facebook and here, on this blog that this is the same as my home - NOT my office.  That is a different place in cyberspace, just as it is in the physical world.  If you are here, if you are on my Facebook page, please understand, you are in my family room.  Sometimes it's a little messy with projects and family life.  It is not a grey and black, button down blouse/shirt and tie sort of place.  If that is a problem, sorry.  You are my guest and I will be hospitable, but in my family room, not stuffy.
That's for the office or the formal living room, if I even have one in my next home.
Bienvennue
Reb!

Fortune Favors the Bold

Fortune Favors The Bold

Or, if you told me what I’d be doing for the next few months, I’d doubt my sanity.

When I started the adventure, back in January - I was simply glad to be going somewhere warm, where not knowing where I was would be expected and normal.

The iPhone and the Garmin became friends and guides to many a small adventure and discovery as I learned Dallas just a bit

Re-Connecting with my dear friend Pam was a bonus beyond all measure. Dallas was hot and dry and a good antidote to my aches. I missed my son and daughter, my daughter-in-law and my grandson but seeing them grow and stand on their own two feet was some consolation. In addition, I got to spend a lot of time with my sister-in-law Amy, her husband and Packer fan, Mike and my niece and goddaughter Zoe and her little brother Anderson.

At this point, I must again thank Steve Jobs for making my science fiction dreams into a very tangible reality. I adore face-time on the iPad - now I can still see my family from time to time.

So, what did I do, really?

I read a lot, I walked and I tried a few new and interesting activities. I found myself the Easter Bunny at the Grapevine Mall - yep forty plus pounds of polyester fur and giant ears. If you’ve never worn a giant costume like that, you should think about trying it. The reactions from the tiny babies to the seasoned folks were priceless - and the teenagers! 99% were just for fun and only a few babies cried! I also got to ride the mall train - a lot.

At the same time I worked on getting in with a Funeral Home as an assistant, that was less successful but I have not given my profession a pass. I joined a few groups to stay in touch with the field, and low and behold, I was chosen to be interviewed about my profession. The result can be found here: More Magazine - Death and the Maidens

The heat was intense this summer, but it really only kept me in at the peak of it most days, but still 40+ days of 100+ heat. Yes, it’s a dry heat, but my freckles grew freckles!

Before I knew it, it was August. Time to pack up life in Dallas and get set for the big trip.

Not just Australia, but New Zealand too. Hey, if you are flying 12+ hours on the longest leg in the air, you might as well make the most of it.

But that adventure deserves a post or two all of its own.