Kids! What's the Matter with Kids ... Today?

Somewhere, in the not too distant past, parents tried to work themselves out of a job.  We made sure our tiny charges were well protected in the beginning, but bit by bit, we pulled back.  Sure, we enforced rules but sometimes you have to fall to learn the floor is really cold and hard.  It's so much better to fall when you are shorter.  It's less of a fall and easier to get up and get on with life.

Life today has removed some of the opportunities to simply TRY!

Now we have helicopter parents and trophies for showing up.  We constantly tell each child how perfect and wonderful they are ... no matter what they have done; and perhaps worse, no matter what they haven't done.

Covid 19 has now given our children the mandate, in many cases, to practically LIVE in front of their computer screen, and woe to those who don't have one, or enough bandwidth or privacy for their school day.

I am fortunate that my two main charges, and my dozen international children are all up and about in the world, productive citizens of their current locales, building good, adult lives.  

And that is what brings me here today.   Our children, our grandchildren and nieces and nephews, and other children are watching us.  They are searching for clues as to what comes next.  If we are uncertain, and I would guess that most of us certainly are uncertain, what we show them in the coming days is certainly important.

I had the opportunity to spend extra time with a grandchild this spring.   It was a lemonade out of the lemons' situation.  This child was coming from a place where civility was gone.   It dawned on me that now was the time to not only let a child be a child but model what should be happening against the backdrop of what no one wanted to watch happen.  

Every night, the news showed how lost so much of the country seemed to be.  In our home, we lived to show how it could be.  We still found innovative ways to be safe but still have fun.  We got our work done, we laughed, we discussed, we lived in harmony, even though all of us did not share all the same beliefs or political positions.  

As a child, I had lived through the Sixties. There were riots and violence and the war on our TV more nights than I can remember.  My parents, even though their own difficulties, managed to remain mostly calm for my tiny brother and me.  They modeled mostly calm, rational behavior.  They did not rant or rail on situations, at least not in front of us.  They let us be children.  We didn't have all the 24-7 news or the constant critique of social media.  Our photos were for our families and friends.  Our mistakes were our own, not plastered and repeated over and over on the internet.  We had a chance to try and fail and learn without everlasting condemnation.  In short, we were children, being children, and learning at a steady pace.

What's the matter with kids today?  Maybe if we let them be kids, and have childhoods where they gained responsibility and skills at a child's pace, and not the pace demanded by the internet; the answer could again be - not much.